GROUNDHOG DAY
by SANDEFUR
Summary: Time to party!


GROUNDHOG DAY

by

SANDEFUR

Disclaimer: This is fanfiction just for fun. I have no claims.

(A brief caution, there are some sexual elements in this story some might find disturbing.)

2-2-08/Saturday night.

"I am so getting laid tonight!" Joan Girardi says with more confidence than she feels.

The other two girls travelling with her laugh, hoot and cheer. But as the humor fades…they grow silent and contemplative. Joan's two companions in her truck are Karen Vogel, a new friend from last semester's vocals class, and Friedman's girlfriend Dillon Samuels (the girl whose life she saved back in high school).

"Joan…are you sure about this?" Dillon asks.

"Hey, I'm hornier than a rhino." Joan laughs, but this time the joke falls flat.

Karen adds, "I know we haven't known each other all that long Joan, but I never figured you for the casual sex type. And…this is a particularly risky way to go about it."

Joan sighs, wishing she didn't have to take a couple of friends along to handle this mission, but she can't accomplish it without them…

"Okay, maybe I exaggerated a bit on the search for some 'strange', but the boyfriend/relationship thing has never worked for me. So, if the opportunity presents itself…who knows? Besides, I've always wanted to check out one of the parties on fraternity row, haven't you?"

The other two hesitate in their answer. Curious – yes, but also cautious. Arcadia College's fraternity row has an unshakeable reputation for drug assisted date rapes. The tales of one girl after another waking up violated and with no memory of what happened is in everyones' mind an established 'fact'. In a year and a half at the college, Joan has never ventured into the area (safety lectures from both parents growing up have stuck in Joan's psyche). About half of the co-eds on campus follow Joan's example while the other half seem drawn to the area like moths to a flame.

Dillon cautiously says, "I have been curious, but I never had the nerve to go to one of these parties before."

Karen adds, "I've been to a couple, and even though I didn't see anything…criminal, you could feel it in the atmosphere of the place – one wrong move and you were the next victim."

Joan nods, having heard from her first day at this school how potentially dangerous fraternity row can be. But…when she got this assignment, Joan did a little research. In the last twenty years there has not been a single reported incidence of an Arcadia College co-ed being 'ruffied' in the way the entire student body believes is happening on a regular basis. 'At least once a month' is the usual statistic mentioned in the endless gossip about these parties, but the statistics don't bear it out. Joan supposes in some cases rich frat boys might be buying off the victims, and many victims would be too ashamed to step forward to report the crime, especially if the young woman couldn't remember who her assailant was, but not one official complaint in twenty years?

Joan pulls onto Chestnut Drive, which is located just east of the college. For over a century this two block stretch has been fraternity row – originally beginning as restored Victorian homes (but most of those are gone now). Today, most of the frat houses are large, modern facilities that are not too different from standard college dorms. The big exception is the lower level floor space that is devoted to 'fun and games'. Joan parks and steps out of the truck. Immediately she can feel the demonic influence in the area, but it is especially strong where tonight's party is being held.

Dillon, looking nervous, says, "It's not too late to back out. We could go to dinner or a movie or…buy you a vibrator?"

Karen laughs. "I like her, she's fun. Joan, watch out for me tonight. You remember what I said the last time we went to a party?"

"I remember, and we will all be keeping an eye on each other." Joan states firmly.

Dillon asks, "What's this about?"

Karen replies, "You'll know when it's time for me to go home when I get so drunk I start kissing other girls."

"I-I don't drink. And I have a boyfriend."

"Me too, at least usually. He's a jerk, and we broke up two days ago."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. We break up all the time. After a few days he comes back and I forgive him. Hooray for make-up sex."

Another group of girls passing by hear and cheerfully cry out, "Hooray for make-up sex!"

Joan and her two friends snicker, and as they approach the frat house they notice lots of fellow co-eds are headed for the same destination – all of them travelling in groups of three and four. Joan can sense the excitement tinged with fear of all of the women around her. It's like standing in line for the world's wildest roller coaster ride.

There are several greeter tables set up on the front porch of the fraternity. A young man wearing a name tag waits to greet them. His tag reads: 'Pledge Tom Tempelton, feel free to use me and abuse me'. He smiles and nods hello…

"Welcome ladies to Rho Pi Epsilon. If you are not invited guests of a member, I will need to see your Arcadia College i.d.'s."

The three display their i.d. cards, and Pledge Tom writes their names in a ledger. "Dillon Samuels, age 19, Joan Girardi, age 20 and Karen Vogel, age 21. I assume you three make up a safety group?"

Karen and Joan nod while Dillon looks annoyed. "Do we really have to come as a group of at least three in order to get into the party?"

"Yes Miss, for your own safety. Your two friends will watch out for you in case you decide to go upstairs with one of the fraternity brothers. They will help determine that you are relatively sober, and…undrugged."

"Not me. I have a boyfriend. And why can't it just be two?"

"With two, if one goes upstairs, that leaves the friend alone and unguarded."

"Hey, let's get this party started. Stamp my hand." Karen says.

"You have a designated driver?"

"That's me." Joan says.

Dillon asks, "What if we were all old enough to drink? How would we watch out for ourselves then?"

"We always require a designated driver. Besides, to get upstairs you also have to pass by the women of 'The Gauntlet'."

Karen laughs. "You've got to see that to believe it. Come on, let's face the lion's den."

As the trio goes to the front door, Joan feels a lot of regrets about this assignment, which began yesterday at lunch…

X X X X X

2-1-08/Friday afternoon. (The day before.)

Joan exits the cafeteria line and looks for a place to sit. She actually groans when she spots the one man she never thought to encounter at the college's dining hall, Issac B. Dunn. Sighing, Joan accepts the inevitable and goes to I.B.'s table. She also notices the mountain of muscle in the black suit who is in the corner watching carefully anyone who goes near his boss. Joan gives Agent Brown a quick wave as she sits across from the Director of Covert Operations, Homeland Security.

"So I.B., here for the famous cafeteria cuisine?"

"It's not bad. I see you like your carbs."

Joan looks down at her plate: chili mac, mashed potatoes, succotash and corn bread. A glance at I.B.'s plate reveals skinless baked chicken breast, steamed spinach and a side salad – lemon juice, no dressing. No wonder the man stays pencil thin.

"I burn a lot of calories in my daily workout. But, I never considered how unappealing food must be when you can't see colors."

"That might be true if you lost the ability to see colors, but I never had it. However, in compensation, my eyesight is considerably better than 20/20, and I have superb night vision."

"What brings you to Arcadia, and how did you know I'd be eating in the cafeteria? I don't always have lunch here."

"You always do on Fridays. Your feminist studies class ends at noon and your economics class begins at one, so you always come here for lunch."

"Do you have someone following me?"

"Of course not, Joan. With your unique abilities, you would spot anyone tailing you within minutes."

"Then how…?"

"We live in age of endless trivial life details being transmitted electronically. Homeland Security has unfettered access to that stream of data. Any information regarding you or your family immediately comes to my attention. For instance, at this moment, I would wager at least half a dozen people are sending text messages about that 'Weird Girl Joan' having lunch with a very distinguished looking stranger."

"More likely about that middle-aged oddball who dresses only in black, white and shades of grey."

I.B. shrugs. "The point being, I keep tabs on you Joan because I care. For instance, I know your mother is recovering rapidly from her recent gunshot wound, and in another month she should be able to resume her art career. I also know your sister-in-law, the self-proclaimed anarchist, returned to Boston yesterday after staying to help with your mother's recovery. I also know the medical bills have been rather high, even with insurance. The Girardi family budget must be getting strained."

"Is there a point here?"

"I thought I would do your family a good turn. Homeland Security has need of people with investigative skills to do a virtual mountain of background checks. It's routine work, safe and well paid. Your father could easily fit such a job into his schedule as he runs for mayor."

"You're going to offer my Dad a part time job? What's the catch?"

"Catch?"

"I know you, I.B. You always expect something. Just how horrible of an assignment do you have for me?"

Dunn smiles and Joan shudders a little. I.B. never looks creepier than when he is smiling.

"Let's say what I have in mind is outside your comfort zone, and I wanted to remind you of the beneficial nature of our relationship."

"Now I'm getting worried."

"Don't be. What I am proposing may be risky, but it seems well within your range of...unusual abilities."

"Does this go back to what happened in Washington on the thirty-first?"

I.B. nods. "A fanatical suicide bomber, fully prepared to give his life for the cause, surrendered his will due to your...irresistable charms?"

"Borderline insulting."

"No disrespect intended. You obviously are an attractive young woman Joan, who no doubt can excite hormonal college boys. However, during my career I have met women who are true femme fatales. Sexually compelling women who can so obsess a man, he is willing to betray anyone or anything to be with her."

Before Joan can respond, she spots Goth Kid God headed directly for her. Agent Brown stands, his hand sliding under his jacket to the .40 caliber automatic concealed there. Joan gives him a calm-down signal and Brown reluctantly returns to his seat, but his hand stays on the hidden gun.

"Hello Joan."

"Oh, uh, hello...Godfrey." (Godfrey? Hey, I make it up as I go along.)

I.B. asks, "This is...?"

"An old friend from high school."

"Joan, I thought you might be interested in tomorrow night's party. It could be fun." Goth Kid says as he drops a flyer onto the table. He turns and walks away, giving the backhand wave.

As Joan stares at the flyer, announcing a Groundhog Day party at Rho Pi Epsilon, and wonders what God is thinking in telling her to go to such an event, I.B. continues...

"On February 15th the Iranian Deputy Minister for Censorship will be attending an international conference at the United Nations. This man..."

"Is a spy?" (A frat house party?)

"Actually, a spymaster. We know that he is carrying with him a list of sleeper cells and their intended targets that he intends to pass along to his New York counterpart. We need that list."

(Those parties are dangerous.) "And you want me to...seduce this guy in order to get the list? What are you, my pimp?"

"Joan, this is important."

"It's always important, but there are some lines you don't cross. You want me to sell my body, and the price you are offering is a job for my Dad." (Which he could really use. Don't I need at least two other girls to go with me to get into one of these parties?) "Besides, does this Iranian guy even speak English?"

"A little. Plus there is the problem that the list will be in Farsi, and probably coded. It might be on paper, in a flash drive, or even on an old fashioned microdot. Searching for it would take forever. That's why the Deputy Minister has to be willing to give it to you."

"Yeah, I know what he will be trying to 'give' me. Why again can't your usual agents try to steal the stupid list?" (Who can I get to go with me?)

"Everyone involved has diplomatic immunity. We can't risk trying to break into a diplomatic mission with airtight security. You have to be invited in, and they check backgrounds very thoroughly. Fortunately you'll have the perfect cover since you have to be in New York that week anyway."

"I do? News to me."

I.B. smiles. "But not to me."

X X X X X

And so, Joan enters the Rho Pi Epsilon's party while wondering what God has planned for her tonight (and wondering what I.B. has planned for her two weeks from now). The fraternity building is a large, utilitarian structure that is comfortable and decorated in a simple, masculine manner. Home to over two hundred 'brothers', the downstairs is bulging with partygoers as the women outnumber the men by 3 to 2.

"It's amazing there are so many co-eds here." Dillon remarks.

Joan responds, "It's almost like an extreme sport. The rush from the danger keeps drawing the women back."

Karen adds, "It's not all that dangerous if you're careful. Remember, stick with your group, don't lose track of your drink and avoid the guys that have only one thing on their minds."

Joan, reading the sexually charged nature of the crowd - both male and female - comments, "That would be all of them. And here I am trying to find a nice guy with just one decent bone in his body."

Dillon giggles.

"What?"

"You said 'bone'."

Joan sighs. This is going to be a long night.

Karen says, "Hey look, one of the girls is going to endure 'The Gauntlet'."

The large foyer has a formal staircase that leads up to the dorm rooms of the frat brothers. (Joan notes, she will have to get up there to take an accurate reading on just how consentual the sex is in those rooms.) A slightly tipsy co-ed and a considerably more drunk frat boy approach the stairs, followed by the co-ed's two girlfriends. The first stop is with a couple of the senior fraternity members who take the girl's name, have her sign a form (probably a legal release) that is also signed by the two friends who are testifying that their friend is making a free will choice. (No signature is required from the guy.) As the young couple proceeds, her two friend begin to chant...

"Go Susie, go Susie, go Susie!"

Several of the frat boys call out: "Way to go Eric! You the man!"

Joan whispers to her friends, "If I go through with this, promise you won't chant my name."

Dillon nods, but Karen shrugs and says, "Depends on how drunk I am."

The next stop is a couple of angry young women dressed in jeans and old plaid work shirts. Joan recognizes them as a couple of teaching assistants from her feminist studies group. Their view of male/female sex is that it is always rape, no matter how consentual it is.

Karen whispers, "I was in class with those two last year. They presented a paper suggesting 99 percent of men should be exterminated, leaving only the healthiest one percent to be used as breeding stock. All procreation would be done by artificial insemination."

Joan whispers back, "This year they were passing around a petition to have the Washington monument destroyed because it is an offensive phallic symbol. I didn't sign. I told them I was pro-phallus. They were not amused."

As 'Eric' and 'Susie' pass the pair, the feminists call out...

"Don't do it Sister. Don't let this inferior thing have mastery over your body."

"All men are pigs! Don't you agree?"

Susie looks over her shoulder and retorts, "Of course they are, but I'm in a mood for sausage."

The crowd laughs and cheers their approval of the answer. Eric and Susie near the last stage of the gauntlet. Two young women are dressed in ankle length skirts, blouses that cover all but their hands, with no make-up, haired pulled back tight, wearing large wooden crosses, carrying bibles, and glaring at the young lovers. With this pair there is a large, older one and a younger, smaller and less confident one. She stays in the background - obviously a newbie at this and parroting her more experienced companion...

"Stop and consider your fate. There is good news, you don't have to be a slave to these sinful ways. Repent!"

Softly, "Repent."

Eric and Susie walk up the stairs, ignoring this pair.

"You will burn in hell! Fornicators!"

Softly, "F-Fornicators."

The crowd laughs again and begins to disperse, the fun over for the moment. Joan and her friends begin circulating through the downstairs rooms. Dillon shudders a little...

"I can't imagine enduring something so embarassing."

Karen smiles, "I could...if I wanted it really bad. Well Joan, are you prepared to endure the gauntlet?"

Joan shrugs. "That was a bucket of cold water on the ol' libido. I don't think I could face that...sober."

Dillon nervously asks, "You're not going to drink, are you?"

Joan hears the tone and concludes Friedman has expressed his concerns about Joan's drinking to his girlfriend.

"Can't. No stamp on the back of my hand."

Karen says, "Well I've got one. Let's find the bar."

They walk through several rooms and note that one is set up with pool tables, another is dedicated to video games, one for dancing, one for poker and several for quiet conversation where a lot of flirting is going on. In all of the rooms there is a big screen TV that is playing the Bill Murray movie about Groundhog Day. The sets are synchronized so that you don't lose the plot if you choose to travel from room to room. The film is close captioned so that the sound doesn't bother people. The trio comes to the dining hall where a large buffet is set up, and a 'bar' that consists of a keg on tap, and lots of drinks in tubs of ice. Another pledge is handling bartender duties. He is a chubby freshman whose name tag reads: 'Pledge Danny Bell, feel free to use me and abuse me'.

Karen says, "Hello 'Danny'. I'll have a brew."

Dillon, "Bottled water."

Joan, "Sprite."

Danny removes the three drinks from the ice tubs and carefully wipes them down with a towel... "There you are ladies, please verify that all of the drinks have their seals intact. Please keep a careful eye on your drinks, and if you set them down, do not drink from them again. Return for a replacement."

Karen asks, "Can't I have a draft beer?"

"No Miss. Draft is reserved for the brothers only. The bottled beer is for your safety."

Joan says, "To keep anyone from slipping a girl a ruffie. Does that happen a lot?"

Danny shrugs. "I hear the same rumors as everyone else, but I know it has never happened here, and the fraternity is determined it never will. The school's administration has a zero tolerance policy, and any fraternity that fails to enforce a Draconian code of behavior loses its' charter."

Karen says, "I've seen the same precautions at other frat houses, and yet it still keeps happening. You can't legislate human behavior. In any group of guys like this, there are bound to be a few creeps who will do whatever it takes to get what they want."

Dillon asks, "How?"

Joan suggests, "Give his draft beer to a thirsty co-ed who is technically too young to drink?"

Danny responds, "Any brother who did that would face immediate disciplinary action. We keep a close watch in order to weed out the 'creeps'."

The trio wander away, debating what to do first.

"I like video games." Dillon suggests.

"I want to win some money. Poker?" Karen suggests.

Joan shakes her head. With her ability to read people, she would clean out anyone she played poker with. Joan doubts God would approve of her using her abilities that way. "How about pool instead?"

Karen smiles. "Oh yeah, there's nothing I like better than taking cash off an arrogant frat boy who thinks he's better than me at everything just because he's a guy."

They head for the pool room and sign up for their turn at one of the tables. As they watch the play, they notice that each table has its' own 'expert' who is beating all comers. Some of the bets are rather large.

"How good are you at this?" Joan asks.

Karen laughs. "I'm the best there is."

Dillon adds, "I'm not bad either."

"Well I'm lousy at pool. I'm sure to lose, and I don't want to just throw money away."

Karen says, "If you don't want to risk the cash, tell the guy you have no money. Trust me, he will have an alternative suggestion."

From Karen's leer, Joan can guess what the suggestion might be. Okay...she is here to party. After a few minutes, Joan's turn comes with at one of the tables on the end. Joan grabs a cue and sizes up her opponet. He looks to be about her age, fairly good looking and has an absolute confidence in his abilities. He gives Joan a friendly smile.

"Samuel."

"Joan."

"The bet is a hundred dollars, Joan."

"Kind of steep. I...don't have that kind of cash on me."

Samuel looks Joan up and down and smiles. "Okay, if you win you get the hundred bucks. If I win, two kisses and one free squeeze."

Joan gulps and wonders if she is putting out some sort of hooker vibe. "D-Deal."

Samuel breaks and gets one of the balls into the corner pocket. It takes him only a few minutes to run the table.

Joan sighs. "I didn't even get a chance to shoot."

"I had a helluva motivation to win. Shall we find a spot a little more private?"

Joan nods, blushing and feeling a mix of excitement and embarassment. Samuel signs his name on the board so he can get back to the pool soon, and Joan feels a little bit insulted. Samuel takes her arm and escorts Joan away to collect his prize. They end up in a pantry just off the kitchen and have a fair amount of privacy.

"Nervous?"

"No." Joan lies.

Samuel pulls her closer to him, but not so close that it is awkward. He leans forward and gives Joan a surprisingly gentle, tender kiss. Joan feels that familiar stir of her hormones, and Samuel's second kiss is a welcomed intense one that is long and filled with mutual yearning. His caress of her right breast is surprisingly gentle, and Joan finds herself thinking she wouldn't mind a little more of this...

"Payment made in full. There's some time before I get called back to the pool table. Care to dance?"

"Sure." Joan says, feeling a little disappointed. Maybe he's building up to asking her to go upstairs with him?

They head for the large open room where there is dancing. It is right next to the pool room and Joan notices as they pass by both Karen and Dillon are collecting cash from the guys they have beaten. As they wait for their next opponets, Joan waves. So much for the three of them keeping together as a group. Samuel and Joan dance a couple of times, and Joan is glad to see Samuel is a fair dancer. Joan is really begining to enjoy herself when Samuel's name is called from the pool room...

"Gotta go. I had fun, Joan. If you want to play again, you know where to find me."

Samuel rushes for the pool room, his mind already on the game. Joan sighs as she realizes she rates lower than his need to gamble. Almost instantly another guy taps her on the shoulder...

"Dance?"

"Okay."

"Jack."

"Joan."

The new guy isn't as handsome as Samuel, but he is a better dancer, even though it is obvious he has had more than a few drinks. They dance a couple of fast numbers and then a slow one. Jack holds Joan a lot closer than she would like, and she easily notices his level of...excitement.

"You're really pretty, Joan."

"Thanks. You're really drunk, Jack."

Jack snickers and grins. "Not so drunk I don't notice the best looking girl here."

"I'll bet you say that to all the girls. All-of-them."

Jack laughs. "Caught me. Hey, it never hurts the cause to throw out a few compliments, and you really are pretty. You have great boobs too." So saying, Jack reaches out to grab at Joan's breasts. She knocks his hands away.

"Behave yourself, Jack."

"Come on Joan, don't play the shy girl game with me. I recognize a girl who's ready to party, and I saw you with Samuel. He never leaves the pool tables unless he's getting some. 'Two kisses and a squeeze' - sound familiar? See, I'm not the only one who has lines."

Joan frowns. So much for her hope to find a guy with just one decent...

Jack continues. "You were with Samuel to save yourself a hundred bucks. I can be a lot more generous. How about a thousand dollars to go upstairs with me?"

Anger flashes in Joan. This smug, rich fatboy actually believes he can buy anything or anyone. Joan is glad when Jack suddenly grabs her breasts. Just the excuse she needs...

"Ow! Let go of me you crazy bitch!" Jack howls as he drops to his knees in pain. Joan has a couple of his fingers bent back just short of the breaking point. A couple of senior frat brothers rush forward...

"Miss, you can let him go. We have him."

Joan notices everyone staring. Reluctantly Joan lets Jack go and the two seniors grab his arms.

"He...touched me."

"We saw, and we are so sorry. Do you want us to call campus security?"

Joan hesitates. Involving security would lead to formal charges followed by Jack's expulsion under the school's zero tolerance policy. But the scandal would draw media attention to Joan...and her Dad's mayoral campaign. Neither needed that sort of publicity.

"What happens if I don't go official?"

"This 'brother' will be expelled from the fraternity as soon as a disciplinary council can be convened. It's the most we can do."

Joan nods. "Okay."

The seniors frog march Jack away while the crowd continues to stare at Joan. The whispering begins. Joan sighs and walks away, looking for Karen and Dillon. So much for the buddy system. Joan searches room to room before ending up in the dining hall - she heads for the bar.

"Hey Danny."

"Hello finger-bender." Danny says with a smile while getting Joan another Sprite.

"You've heard alrady?"

"Everyone has heard, and I'm glad to see you're okay. Your friends have been by for refills a couple of times, the tall one is hitting the beer kinda hard, and I was concerned you weren't with your group."

Joan smiles. "You're a bit of a gossip, aren't you Danny?"

"The life of a bartender...Joan is it?"

"Oh, my name is part of the gossip?"

"It seems you're semi-famous, Joan. I'm embarassed I didn't recognize you."

"Fame is fleeting. Do you know where my friends went?"

"They mentioned video games."

"Thanks."

Joan heads for the game room, trying to ignore the pointing fingers and whispers. In her life Joan has gone through this sort of thing before, but experience makes it no easier. Joan enters the game room and spots Karen and Dillon on a loveseat playing some violent video game. Karen leans over and whispers something in Dillon's ear, causing her to laugh (she doesn't realize Karen is flirting with her). Joan notices there are already four empty bottles of beer in front of Karen.

"Hey guys."

Karen responds, "Hey finger-bender."

"You've heard too."

Dillon says, "By word and by text messages. What happened? I thought you were looking for a guy to go upstairs with."

"He was a creep. He...offered me money."

Karen says, "Really? How much are you worth?"

"The point being...he was a definite 'no' for me. I'm not that desperate."

"You sure? From what you were saying before we got here, I assumed you were ready to jump the first guy who asked."

Dillon says, "Well, I think you made the right choice, Joan. Why don't you join us and forget the search for some...'strange'."

Karen retorts, "And be a quitter? No way. You stick to it, girlfriend. Find that mythical nice guy and get laid. Stay with the plan."

Joan wishes she could just leave, but she assumes that part of the reason God sent her to this party was to check out what was going on upstairs. Who knows, some girl might be in trouble right now and Joan is suppose to rescue her.

"I guess I'll browse."

"Do you want us to go with you?" Dillon asks.

"Nah, you guys stay here and have fun."

Joan walks away and notices Karen scooting closer to Dillon, who still seems clueless about the building sexual tension. Oh well, time to find her mythical nice guy and...see what happens. For nearly an hour Joan wanders about the party, giving encouraging smiles to one guy after another, only to see them turn away. Some seductress she is. The news of the finger bending has reached everyone, and Joan reads her pariah status amongst all of the guys at the party. She couldn't get a guy to go upstairs with her even if she were the one offering a thousand bucks.

Disappointed, Joan ends up back in the dining hall where she fills a small plate with snacks. Pledge Danny Bell is still hard at work as bartender.

"Hello Joan, ready for another Sprite?"

Joan sighs. "I don't suppose you could slip me one of those beers?"

"You sound like you could use it, but...sorry, I can't."

"Then Sprite me, big boy."

Danny laughs as he wipes down another canned drink for her. Well, at least there is one nice guy here, even if he is a freshman.

"Don't you get any breaks?"

"Pledges are expected to work their fingers to the bone to prove their worthiness."

"Isn't it late in the year for the pledge thing?"

"There were a couple of openings as second semester began. A couple of the brothers were tossed out for...misconduct."

"Like tonight?"

"Yes. I'm sorry that jerk was so rude to you Joan. Most of the guys here aren't like that."

"Actually, they are. Jack was just drunker than most. If it weren't for the tight security the fraternity runs, there would probably be a lot worse going on - including girls with drugs in their drinks."

"I swear..."

"Yeah, I know. It isn't happening here, and you know, I believe you. I'm wondering if it ever happens at any of the frat houses."

Tired of circulating through the party and being rejected, Joan stays in the dining hall talking to Danny. The exchange the usual chitchat about majors (Math for him), favorite classes and worse professors. As they talk, Joan confirms in her mind that Danny is an okay guy, and she notices that he is definitely interested in her. Maybe...with an 18 year old freshman?

"Danny, I need to find a bathroom fairly soon."

"There are four downstairs, located..."

"Yeah, I saw. I also saw the long, long lines for each."

"Oh. Well, I have a bathroom attached to my room."

Joan smiles. "Why Danny Bell, what are you suggesting?"

Danny blushes. "That...that you come upstairs with me?"

"I don't think I could endure the 'gauntlet'."

"We could use the backstairs."

Joan frowns. "So there is a way around the security?"

"Not exactly. There are still a couple of the brothers guarding the stairs, and you and your friends have to sign the release form..."

"Then why the big production in the foyer?"

"It's sort of a tradition, making a show of the whole thing. Some people like the attention and like ticking off the feminists and the bible thumpers. But for those that don't, you can quietly go up the back way."

"Cool. Can you get someone to cover for you?"

"Normally pledges can't leave their posts, but for something like this, a brother will help a brother."

"I'll get my friends."

Joan walks to the game room while wondering if she has lost her mind. An 18 year old freshman! Is she really that desperate to be with a guy? She has been lonely and...rhino-like, and hey, it is a part of an assignment. Joan reaches the game room and sees a couple of more beer bottles in front of Karen, who now has her arm around Dillon-the-clueless' shoulder.

"Okay my posse, time to do your duty."

"You found one?" Dillon asks in surprise.

"Yeah, I actually found a guy who was willing to lower his standards down to my level." Joan replies with attitude.

"Joan, I didn't mean... I just didn't think you were really serious."

Karen says, "I think it's great. I knew you could do it, Joan. Now we get to chant your name."

"No you don't. We're doing this quietly and by way of the backstairs. Okay?"

Joan's friends agree and they head for the back of the building. There they find an excited Danny waiting beside a couple of bored looking frat brothers.

"Name?"

"Joan Girardi."

"Have you been drinking?"

"No."

Drugs?"

"Never."

"Are you and your friends willing to sign a standard release form where you guarantee this is a voluntary action and hold only this individual responsible for whatever transpires upstairs?"

"Yes." Joan says as she signs the form, followed by Karen and Dillon.

Joan and Danny begin to climb the stairs and Dillon calls out, "Good luck." Karen adds "Bang her good, Dude!"

Once upstairs, Danny holds Joan's hand as he leads her down a long corridor to his small room. Joan can tell Danny is nervous from his sweaty hand and anxious breathing. Apparently he doesn't do this sort of thing too often. Joan focuses her attention on taking a spiritual read of the upstairs area. There are at least twenty couples in the various rooms having sex - all with mutual desire and pleasure. No damsel in distress up here...except her. Danny opens the door to his room and invites Joan in.

The room is in typical dorm room fashion with twin beds, two desks, two dressers, etc; It costs a lot more to belong to a fraternity than it does to live in one of the college dorms, but it is considered worth it for the party and prestige factors. The room is a little messy, but not too bad for a couple of frat boys...

"My roommate Tom has greeter duty on the front porch, so he will be downstairs all night. The bathroom is through that door."

"Thanks. Uh Danny, there are no cameras, right?"

Danny looks shocked. "None, I swear."

"Okay, just had to be sure. You can't be too careful these days. Be right back."

Joan is relieved to find the bathroom spotlessly clean, and after using the facilities she stands in front of the mirror trying to calm herself... Okay, do I really want to go through with this? Yes and No. Great, big help. But it's the truth. I so want to be in a guy's arms, to be touched again...and I've been lonely. Danny seems nice and it's just the one time... Casual sex, I can do this? Grow up Girardi and stop waiting for that Mr. Perfect who may never come along despite the vision God showed you last month. That was only a possible future of me having a son someday, and in the meantime, there's a nice guy waiting out there for you. Joan takes a deep breath and enters the bedroom.

Danny has lowered the lights, there is soft music playing and the bed has been turned down. He has even managed to straighten up the room and has a couple of condoms on the nightstand. He sits on the bed looking even more nervous than she feels. Joan sits beside him feeling the awkwardness of the moment. Normally she wouldn't give Danny a second glance, but hooking up with someone not her type is one of the reasons she came to this stupid party. No possibility of a relationship - just sex. Joan turns toward Danny and they share their first kiss...

Horrible. The worse kiss she has ever had, including times with spin the bottle and seven minutes in heaven when she was a kid. Danny pulls back, sensing her disappointment. He sits there blushing, not knowing what to do. It finally dawns on Joan why she gets such a nice guy vibe from Danny. He is a virgin.

"Danny, how many girls have you...kissed?"

"Three, including you."

"Would you mind...a hint or two?"

Danny looks at her with the eagerness of a new puppy that wants to please its' master. Joan smiles - she has a trainee. For the next twenty minutes Joan takes Danny through the basics of kissing and holding a girl. He learns quickly and Joan finds herself warming to his touch. This might not be so bad after all.

"Danny, I'm not wearing a bra."

"Oh. Uh..."

"That was a hint." Joan says as she guides his hand under her Arcadia College sweatshirt.

Danny's face glows with pleasure as he experiences his first moment of second base action. Instinctively he gently caresses her and his fingers tweak her nipple. Joan has always greatly enjoyed this part and starts to feel her own pleasure slowly begining. Unfortunately, that is the moment when Danny suddenly shudders, his body experiencing a spasm of physical joy. Danny groans in dismay and sits up on the side of the bed, tears forming in his eyes.

Joan sits beside him. "Danny, did you just...?"

He nods, unable to make eye contact. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Joan can feel his misery and sense of shame. "Hey, it's okay. Happens to a lot of guys. I...take it as a compliment."

"I am such a loser. It's just that you are so beautiful, I-I..."

"Really, it's okay. And at least you've been to second base. Why don't you get cleaned up and we will get ready to go."

Danny nods and enters the bathroom. Joan straightens her clothes and checks her appearance in a mirror. Well, almost two full seconds of sexual pleasure, can't ask better than that - at least not in Joan Girardi's universe. And Danny, poor guy, he's miserable. I hope this doesn't damage his ego too badly. Danny exits the bathroom and Joan takes his arm.

"Let's go down by the front staircase."

"Yeah?" Danny says, getting her meaning.

"Oh yeah."

They exit the room and Joan notices as they walk along the corridor that the demonic energy she detected when she entered Rho Pi Epsilon is now gone. Maybe the demon got nervous with her there and fled. Danny and Joan walk down the main staircase and they draw a lot of attention. At the bottom of the stairs Joan throws her arms around Danny and gives him a long, intense kiss. He grins with pleasure.

"Thanks, Stud." Joan loudly proclaims.

"Any time." Danny replies and then whispers, "Thank you."

Danny walks away while receiving congratulations and slaps on the back from his 'brothers'. Joan turns to the women of the gauntlet, expecting a lot of grief from them, but they are distracted. The young protege of the older bible thumper is off to the side talking to a really cute guy in a brown corduroy jacket... Oh, no wonder the demon fled. As the three remaining women of the gauntlet stare with hostility, Cute God continues to talk to the young girl. Joan watches, wondering what is going on. It doesn't take her long to figure it out as she sees the girl's face go from bemusement, to concern, to...fear. The girl begins to walk away but Cute God calls her name. She turns back, unable to resist. Cute God says something to her that changes the girl's expression - a secret so deep, so personal, only God could possibly know it. The girl trembles as she begins her first step of believing...

Joan watches all of this as appalled as the women of the gauntlet. Now that she has a clear view of the girl, Joan recognizes her - Bonnie. That horrible little slut that slept with Adam even though she knew he was Joan's boyfriend. And after she had been so nice to Bonnie (at least to her face). Joan realizes this is what God wanted her to see at this party. The begining of a new instrument of God. It seems like a deliberate insult. Joan walks by the pair, and when she is sure God has noticed her, Joan flips her hair. Hey, you may run the universe, but I don't have to like all of your decisions.

Joan leaves the foyer area and goes directly to the game room. Her anger fades as she sees her two friends on the loveseat. Karen is making her move - kissing a startled but not displeased Dillon, who allows the kiss to go on and on...

"Ahem."

Dillon springs away from Karen, blushing as much as Danny had been doing only a short time ago.

"Joan, I-I can explain."

"Don't bother. We're leaving."

Karen, now thoroughly drunk, looks at Joan with surprise. "Back already? What was it: wham-bam-thank you ma'am?"

"Definitely a 'thank you ma'am'. I've had it with this party. Coming?"

"Oh-kay." Karen says as she stands, staggering a bit. She notices Dillon and points. "You're cute. Great kiss."

"Uh, thanks?" Dillon replies as she helps Joan to steady Karen. Dillon whispers to Joan, "You're not going to tell Theodore about this, are you?"

"Relax Dillon. Getting kissed by another girl is like a college rite of passage. Happens to all of us."

"You too?"

"Me too. And don't worry about Friedman, he'd probably find it a turn on. Guys are like that." (Dillon frowns at that thought) "But then again, there's no need to tell him."

Dillon nods with relief. As the trio passes through the foyer, Joan notices that Bonnie and Cute God have left. The two feminists are providing guard duty for the upset bible thumper - a strange alliance. Joan and her friends arrive back at her truck and they buckle Karen into the passenger door seat. Joan winds the window down.

"Karen, if you have to puke, make sure it goes outside of my truck."

"No...no problem."

"Dillon, I have one little task to perform. Be right back."

"Okay, Joan." Dillon says, clearly nervous about being alone with Karen.

Joan goes back to the front lawn of the fraternity and looks up at the building. To anyone watching it would seem that 'Crazy Joan' is talking to the fraternity house. Joan watches as the deception demon cautiously returns to the area. It is a particularly weak demon that feeds off the energy it receives from the harmful gossip and fear it creates. Spread over such a large area, the deception demon appears as no more than mist, which is more concentrated around Rho Pi Epsilon. The demon is nervous but boldly remains in Joan's presence.

"Clever little demon, you think you're safe. I could cast you into hell with a single word...but you know I won't. The side effect of your deception is that the young women of this campus are actually safer due to the fear you thrive on. So, I'm going to let you go, but be warned. I've given you an inch. Take a second inch and I will cast you down."

As Joan walks away she senses the demon's feeling of relief, and its' growing pride. It will brag to others of its' kind that it successfully survived an encounter with an instrument of God.

X X X X X

Over an hour later Joan finally arrives home. Dropping Dillon off at her mother's apartment was quick, but dealing with Karen took a lot longer. Joan held back Karen's hair while she hugged the porcelain throne, and eventually got her drunk friend into bed and sound asleep holding a bucket. Joan is glad Karen only gets drunk at parties.

Joan enters her room feeling grumpy, tired, frustrated and more than a little mad at God. Why Bonnie of all people? Because she turned her life around? Then why not the other bible thumper? How can Bonnie possibly qualify for even the lowest level of training? Joan smiles as she considers what bizarre first assignment God might have her on. Fine, let the ex-slut take piano lessons, learn chess or jump rope. Joan bets the little skank will either fail miserably or just give up.

Joan notices a letter has been left on her pillow. The return address reads: Hiram Greyson Productions. Hi Greyson - Barbara's father? Joan opens the letter and reads...

'Miss Joan Girardi,

Congratulations. Your application to appear on the college edition of Rapid Dough has been picked for our February 14th show in New York'...

Rapid Dough? Joan has heard of the show, but she never applied... Joan chuckles, realizing I.B. must be behind this. It looks like she will after all be in New York in a couple of weeks...

The End. Please Review.


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